I’ve been reflecting on love lately. Love found, love lost, love that doesn’t go away. I lost someone in my life to love, recently I suppose you could say, in a final way, and what has amazed me in this process is that while I thought I didn’t still carry so much love for this person in my heart, I realized that I do in fact. I felt the love deeply, again. It nearly shook me, because the emotion was so deep, so familiar, so intimate, so much in my face, and my body. I’ve read that love is eternal. I have fallen in love three times in my life. I guess you could say that I never really ever fell out of love, it never really went away. There is a part of me that just melts still in the face of those three people; the soul remembers, knows and doesn’t forget. When we share our soul with someone so intimately, it lasts. It’s incredibly powerful. You can box it up and put it away, or pretend it isn’t there, but hiding away is that love, and when confronted by it it shows its face again. For better, for worse, it just does. In my heart all I can do is appreciate the depth that this love has brought to my life and my soul, even if that person is gone.
The practice of yoga for me is about the raw emotion of self. It is a place of non-judgement and respect, the place of forgiveness and truth, of exposing all the parts of ourselves that are us, imperfect, real, and eternal. It is the one place I feel completely ok with allowing emotion to pour through me, it is the place of healing, acceptance, understanding, and connection with something here or there, in this world, the alive world and the after world, wherever that may be. Since losing my father over the past year and mourning his loss, yoga is the place where I can dedicate my practice to him, every time I start my practice. It is the place that I can take a few moments to remember and think about him, in a silent space, on my own. And some days, at the end of my practice, I am overcome with emotion, of thoughts, of tears. It is the place where I allow myself to do and feel these things because I know it is a supportive space, a space that understands and feels compassion for all things that bring depth to the soul, of all things called love.